Following Jesus: No Regrets

~ brohenson
Photo by Matt Howard on Unsplash

Each year, on 8 July, I make it a point to remember, review and reflect.

This significant date marks the day when I ‘heard’ the Lord say specifically and personally to me: Follow Me.

Today marks 23 years since those two words gripped my heart that morning as I read the Markan passage of Jesus and the fishermen by the Sea of Galilee.

It is thus apt to pause to consider the journey so far. And more poignantly, the next leg ahead.

This exercise is not meant to be a big deal thingy. Or to generate some feeling if there isn’t any. For sure, the point is not to throw out a few Christian-type phrases for the sake of sounding spiritual and all praise-the-Lordy. Not at all. The key is to remember and that is precisely what I am doing here. That I may never forget. That these two words – follow Me – will always remain fresh.

Following Jesus has been a very exciting and rewarding. That is only to be expected, right? That said, there have also been many uncertain, frustrating and even overwhelming moments. This is not to say that I ever questioned the decision to follow Jesus. Even so, the struggles and wrestlings are all very much a part of the deal, are they not?

In the first few years, like in the developing stages of a relationship, it was filled with discoveries and idealistic ideas (mostly my own imaginative romanticised concoctions) of loving and serving Jesus. Leaving the marketplace and entering bible school was like a dream come true. The world behind me, the cross before me. Or so this wide-eyed bible student thought. Not unlike how the disciples might have imagined the restoration of the kingdom, I suppose.

Upon graduation, I was all ready to put into practice all that I had learned and acquired. To me, it was simple and straightforward: To follow Jesus meant to follow His Word fully and wholeheartedly. And the results would automatically follow – yes and amen. Why would any believer not want to do that? Right? I was so wrong. I quickly discovered that my gifting was more ‘teacher’ than it was ‘pastor’. That was my convenient excuse for quite a while until I studied Ephesians 4:11 more deeply; and became convicted it was not ‘teacher’ or ‘pastor’ but ‘pastor-teacher’. If I wanted to truly follow Jesus, I had to learn to teach as He did. And also shepherd as He did. More easily said than done.

The next phase in a ministry and local church setting opened my eyes even more. How does one follow Jesus in such an environment? What does it mean to follow Jesus through set patterns of liturgy, church programmes and never-ending Christian activities? Am I – are we – really following Jesus? Or have we settled for a form of churchiness? These were tough questions I had to grapple with for quite a while. With no easy answers.

Then came the Lord’s instruction to drop everything for a new assignment. Through Archippus Awakening, I was launched into a new season of following Jesus. All I had was one message to declare. Nothing else. Literally, a blank sheet. While that offered some degree of flexibility and freedom, it also meant the critical need to hear accurately and to follow Jesus even more closely. No church, structure or leader to blame anymore. Talk about a totally new level of following Jesus. I can’t even begin to describe the lessons I have learnt – and the knocks sustained. Again, this should not come as a surprise at all. Jesus never said that following Him would be easy. But He does promise that we will learn and grow.

23 years. Yet, still a noob compared to others who have gone way ahead and followed Jesus for so many more years and decades.

My own assessment is that I have mellowed somewhat and also matured, I hope. (I am well aware that this can only be verified by others, given my own blind spots, biases and presumptions.)

What used to be idealistic is now balanced with more realistic expectations. Individual tasks and assignments are important. Yet, these must be always be undertaken and accomplished with the big picture in mind. Projects are not just about processes but primarily about people. The objective is not merely to get something done; but through what is being done, by how we follow Jesus, that many more will also decide to follow Him.

The kingdom of God is much bigger than what we see or experience in the local church, than what our finite minds can figure out. The more I learn through preparing and teaching KINGDOM101, the more I realise how much more there is to discover about the kingdom of God – and how to put that into practice.

Not everything is black and white. Miss the kingdom principle and we end up with religiosity and legalism. What is often needed – yet sadly lacking – is godly wisdom to apply kingdom perspectives. This can be very discouraging if I try to follow Jesus and meet His standards by my own efforts and strengths. If there is one thing I have discovered over and over these 23 years of following Jesus, it is His grace that sustains and enables me to live the kingdom. By the power of the Holy Spirit.

It’s been totally humbling to realise and admit that I don’t make things happen. In the end, when all is said and done, God is the One who makes everything happen according to His plan and time. My part is to follow Jesus and be faithful in all that has been assigned to me. I just have to remember not to over-think and over-plan. Slow learner, I am.

23 years. Still so much to learn. Even more to unlearn. Does it get easier? Not really. What’s up ahead? I have no idea at all. It has always been ‘one day at a time’ and it continues to be so. The key is to follow Jesus and to keep following Jesus.

Follow Me. Two words that started it all.

Let me wrap up this review and reflection with my own two words. No Regrets.

Past Reflections:

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