TheSugarBook: It’s Time To Say “NO” Again!

In October 2013, Ashley Madison tried to enter the Singapore market. Even when Mr Chan Chun Sing, then Minister for Social and Family Development, spoke against it, the openly adulterous website pressed on with its intended launch. Finally, thankfully, Ashley Madison was blocked. But was that the end of it?

Back then, I wrote in “Ashley Madison in Singapore: When Even Negative Publicity Is Great Publicity“:

I believe we will see more of Ashley Madison, or the likes of it.

Four years later, the likes of Ashley Madison has surfaced … in TheSugarbook.

Screen Shot of TheSugarBook website

Unlike Ashley Madison, TheSugarBook does not openly promote extra-marital affairs, but “a safe and discreet networking environment online”* for rich men seeking young girls, and vice versa. But, like Ashley Madison, it encourages hooking up for all the wrong reasons with absolutely no regard for its consequences.

*Wong Pei Ting: Dodgy messages and brazen requests: My 72 hours on TheSugarBook

One would have expected the government to act as it did in the case of Ashley Madison. However, whilst Minister for Social and Family Development Desmond Lee says that the government “collectively objects” to such sites that “commoditise and devalue” relationships, they are not moving to block it at all. Instead, he says that “[t]he police will ‘keep a close eye’ on money-for-love dating platform The SugarBook as well as the individuals using its services, and will take enforcement action should there be any procurement of sexual services for payment”. Police will keep ‘close eye’ on dating platforms like TheSugarBook: Desmond Lee

It seems that the concern is more about illegal prostitution than it is about fornication, adultery, the demeaning of women, the hurting of young women’s lives, and the destruction of marriages, families and relationships.

My position remains the same as when I commented about the threat of Ashley Madison four years ago:

As Christians, we cannot and must not stay silent for we have been appointed to preserve society as salt and to shine the way of righteousness as light. We must take a stand, and at times, this calls for us to speak up and speak out against such decadent practices. This is not the time for apathy or nonchalance.

At the same time, we must protect our own marriages and families for these are under tremendous attack like never before. We must not presume that things are ok between husband and wife but instead work at strengthening and building the marital relationship. And lest you think children in Christian households are exempted from such negative influences, think again! By the time you realise that theirs is a totally different environment from what we grew up in, it might just be too late. The discipling of our children has taken on a new level of urgency. And as parents, that responsibility is squarely ours (and not the children or youth ministry’s)!

I am thankful and encouraged by those like Darius Lee who engage the public space, speaking up for what is right: Concept of ‘sugar baby’ misogynistic, demeaning towards women

Whilst I understand the reason for not blocking TheSugarDaddy, I cannot say that I agree with it entirely. As far as I am concerned, Ashley Madison and TheSugarDaddy both fall into the same category. Presently, there are more than 20,000 Singapore users (out of 75,000 so far – the target is 200,000 by June 2018). In my opinion, there should not even have been a question at all whether to block it or not.

That said, it is far too easy to expect the government to think and act on our behalf. And should anything go wrong, we just point a finger to blame. To this end, let us must not miss Mr Desmond Lee’s extremely clear signal: “At the end of the day, while we recognise that these websites undermine families and society, our best defence is for society, communities and our families to reinforce values that anchor us so that we do not succumb to such influences.”

In other words, the responsibility is squarely ours. Don’t pass the buck. When all is said and done, we make our own decisions and choices. And we must be prepared to live with the consequences of how and what we have chosen.

Sugar daddies have been around for the longest time. This is not a new thing at all. With or without TheSugarBook, these transactional relationships will continue to exist. Yet, however sweet the deal may appear to be, we must be reminded that, more and more, sugar has been identified as a major cause of ill-health, cancers and death. Yes, sugar kills.

And so …

To the young women of Singapore: You are wonderfully made, precious and loved by God the Father. You never ever need to trade your dignity and bodies for romance, attention, fame or money.

To the rich and wealthy men with lots to spare: If you really want to help younger women with financial needs, there are many other ways to do this without making use of their situation to fulfil your fantasies.

To marriages and families: Remain strong and resilient against the threats of the pressures and challenges of today’s world.

And especially to all hubbies and daddies (and that includes me too): Love your wives and daughters.

Say “NO” to TheSugarBook.

 

 

 

 

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Christmas Blessings from the Lim Tribe!

It’s been another eventful year for the Lim Tribe!

Review and rejoice with us as you view the photo update in our November 2017 Newsletter. Give glory to God for how He has led and what He has done through Archippus Awakening in 2017: A Year To Get Ready. And also another year of encouraging Christian mothers through Serene’s website, Building Up Moms – check out the brand new look!

The Lim Tribe wishes one and all a very blessed Christmas and a wonderful year ahead! It is, and will always be, all about Jesus!

Henson & Serene
with David, Sarah, Aaron, Esther, Ruth, Deborah Hope & Anna Joy

400,000 Views but still taking it One Day At A Time

Two years ago, I reported a milestone for this blog, One Day At A Time, when it achieved 200,000 views. Today, I am pleased to report that this humble contribution continues to be a voice in cyberspace, crossing the 400,000 mark.

When I started this website in 2007, it was an attempt for me to get more acquainted with the internet. It was a personal experiment to see if a nobody like me can make an impact in the digital space through the sharing of ministry updates, reflections and opinions. (Sounds noble? Not exactly. My first post “I’m Just A Regular Guy” exposes my original intent – I just wanted a space to be able to speak freely and to gripe if I have to – haha!) Needless to say, hitting the 100,000 marker (after six years!) was quite a thrill.

In an environment where blog stats are reported by the millions, I am well aware that 400,000 is only a tiny blip on the radar of digital content, if it is even registered. Even so, I have been greatly encouraged when what is written is read and shared widely.

Some of the more popular articles are:

Unlike others who seem to be able to write so effortlessly and regularly, I only write when prompted (or irked) and feel that something needs to be said about an issue. With the launch of Archippus Awakening, I now maintain two websites, carefully discerning which site each article should be posted on. Needless to say, this poses another time and resource challenge for me. (One Day At A Time carries more personal and general articles whilst the AA blog focuses primarily on helping saints be awakened, aligned and assigned for Jesus and His kingdom. For mothers, you’ve got to check out my wife’s website Building Up Moms for a treasure trove of practical tips.)

All said, this post is to celebrate yet another ministry milestone. Although I am limited by time and space, I am thankful to be able to reach many more through this digital platform. I don’t know who is reading or how these might be impacted. My part is to declare truth and pray that the Holy Spirit will convict hearts for Jesus.

Thanks to one and all for your support, encouragement and feedback. Keep reading and sharing! Let’s keep reminding one another to take it One Day At A Time, because our Lord’s mercies are new every morning and great is His faithfulness!

Seeing Jesus in Wonder Woman? Just Enjoy the Movie.

After reading quite a few rave reviews, I must admit that my curiosity was piqued, and my interest stirred, to watch the latest DC movie, Wonder Woman.

What’s more, I remember glancing the title of an article, “The New ‘Wonder Woman’ Is Really A Story About Jesus“, that made me want to watch the movie to see if it were really so. I deliberately skipped reading the article so that I would not have any preconceived notions when I went to the cinema.

In between ministering at church camps, and greatly in need of a break, to space out in front of a large screen, I decided it would be a good time for a movie night – yes, Wonder Woman!

As one used to a Lynda Carter Wonder Woman, it took a while to get used to a Gal Gadot one. Of course, everything is much sleeker, and the special effects much more impressive. I waited for the signature WW spin but the director decided to drop that move. And no invisible plane either! All said, the movie was enjoyable but that was about it – ok la.

Did I see Jesus in Woman Woman? Nope.

I suppose if I tried very hard to, I could force fit some theology into the show, and somehow make it look and sound Christian. Sure, I got the part about saving mankind. Yes, I heard the phrase about mankind being undeserving of redemption. And the final punchline: “Only love can save the world.” And yes, I did not miss the way Diana descended in the shape of the cross. But do these necessarily point to Jesus? Not necessarily.

Even so, I couldn’t help but wonder if I had missed the “Whoa Man!” moments of seeing the Jesus story. Back home, I searched for the article to read what it really said. And, oh man, was I even more disappointed. In my opinion, it is really a case of trying way too hard! Did the writer, M. Hudson, really see Jesus in Wonder Woman, or was she trying desperately to make Jesus into a wonder woman?!

On the point of love saving the world, let us be clear that this is no longer the exclusive chant of Christians. Almost everyone, religious or secular, is shouting this tagline of love! We cannot compare Wonder Woman with the love of Jesus just because she uttered this seemingly profound line. It may sound right and noble but let us not forget that the way she discovered and experienced ‘love’ with Captain Trevor was through a one-night stand after routing the Krauts in the village! Trust Hollywood to always associate and confuse love with sex. Perhaps Crosswalk.com missed or chose to ignore this little scene when commenting that Wonder Woman “should serve as an example of the love God has called us to show our neighbor” in their review “Wonder Woman and the Call for Christian Love“.

If you’re going to watch Wonder Woman, go enjoy it for what it is – a typical superhero story where the good guys triumph over the bad guys. Wonder Woman does not represent Jesus, and Jesus is not Wonder Woman. To this end, there is no need to try so hard to see Jesus in this movie, or to force it into a Christian message of love and salvation. Let’s not make it say what it didn’t mean to say. And for proper theology, read the Scriptures. You’ll find the real story of Jesus there too.

Maybe they will feature Wonder Woman in her invisible jet in the sequel, y’think?

January 2017 Newsletter & Receiving Newsletters

This is just to highlight that my January 2017 Newsletter has been written and posted! Its location can be found under the “Newsletters” page, along with past newsletters if you have not had a chance to read these (just hold your mouse over the word “Newsletters” on the menu). Or simply click on the image:

screen-shot-2017-01-10-at-12-34-09-pmOnce every two months, to the best of my ability, I write and send out a newsletter update to all who are subscribed to the list, “Rev Henson Lim Newsletter”. If you have not been receiving these updates, then it is very likely that you are not yet subscribed to this list.

No worries, for that can be easily resolved: SUBSCRIBE to Rev Henson Lim Newsletter now.

In case you are not aware, subscribing to receive newsletters through the “Rev Henson Lim Newsletter” list is different from subscribing to receive posts from One Day At A Time (www.brohenson.org). At some point in time, I do hope to streamline these subscriptions. That would require some technical know-how, and for now, I just do not have the tech-savviness or bandwidth to address this adequately. (And I’m not about to risk messing up and having either list, or both!, disappearing on me!)

Thanks for your understanding and co-operation, and I do apologise for the inconvenience of having to subscribe twice. I am grateful for the opportunity to keep in touch with you, and I hope that the articles/updates you receive will always serve as encouragements to you in your own journey with the Lord.

In the meantime, enjoy the January 2017 Newsletter!

It’s Time to Brave the Cave Once More

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The last time I went into the cave was three years ago. No, not a physical cave, but a figurative one.

In January 2014, I had just relinquished my pastoral position, and Archippus Awakening was to be the next assignment. With no idea of the next steps, I retreated into a period I termed as ‘cave time‘ to rest and reconsolidate, and more importantly, to seek the Lord. It was also a time for me to pen down my thoughts and direction as I studied more about what Archippus Awakening would be.

That was three years ago. And a lot has happened since then. [Read 2014: A Year of Baby Steps2015: A Year of Sowing, and 2016: Entering the 3rd Year with Expectation] Needless to say, it has not been easy. In fact, it has been extremely demanding and tiring! But I must quickly add that it has also been very exciting and fulfilling. The challenge, always, is to discern when I have relied on my own strength, and when I have rested in His. Without doubt, I ran very  hard in 2016. And it seems that the lanes have all been marked out for me in 2017.

But first – cave time.

Yes. For the next three months, I will be taking it a little easier. Apart from weekend ministry engagements that I have accepted (see Ministry Schedule), the weekdays will be spent reading, resting and recuperating. I have already begun doing that and I am enjoying the additional ‘space’, both in my schedule and in my mind.

This does not mean I am not working at all, for the assignment of Archippus Awakening continues (AWE2017 is up next: 17-19 Feb!). I am just taking things at a much slower pace – a slow jog, if you will.

In this mode, I get to draw and drink more deeply from the fountains of living water, reconnect with Serene and the children, enjoy coffee with friends and kingdom connections, and more critically, to be strengthened and directed for the way ahead. With a clearer mind, I also hope to write an accompanying volume to Say To Archippus, so that we can help more know and fulfil their God-given kingdom assignments.

Yes, it is time to brave the cave once more, to be willing to unplug from the buzz and the noise. Not necessarily easy or natural for one as task-oriented as I am. And yet, this is something that must be done. So, cave time, here I come!

2016: A Year of Good Disruptions

2016 has been labelled the “Year of Disruption”. In almost every sphere of society, especially politics and economics – locally, regionally and globally – someone or something was either disrupting or being disrupted.

Sounds like another buzz-phrase that is being trended over social media. But really, when you look a little more closely, it is nothing new. All these ‘disruptions’ are simply good ol’ fashion ‘change’ – just that ‘change’ today is happening at a much faster rate than ever before. Where we were once able to react and adapt to such changes at a more comfortable pace, we don’t have that luxury anymore. Before an idea or a development can settle, another takes place, and another, and yet another! As such, many are finding themselves disrupted and displaced, just trying to keep up with all that is taking place.

As 2016 draws to a close, how have you been ‘disrupted’ with the various changes in your life? I took the opportunity to ponder the year that has zipped by, and here are some gleanings from my ‘disruptions’.

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My year actually started with a disruption. My MacBook began acting a little strange and I was forced to re-install twice. With so much to do, that disruption was totally frustrating! And yet, God spoke through that glitch, telling me not to bring any corrupted file into the new year, and also reminding me to make space for Him. If you read the 2016 Review for Archippus Awakening, you will see that it has been a full, full year. Looking back, I am so thankful that the Lord prepared me for 2016, warning and reminding me through this disruption. [Read: First the Natural Then the Spiritual: The Lord Prepares Me for the New Year]

This year, I found myself responding to certain issues, expressing my opinion a little more ‘vocally’ over cyberspace about Biblical Illiteracy, Biblical Interpretation, Madonna in Singapore, Hyper Grace, Prosperity Gospel, Bill Johnson and Hillsong. Stirring others to confront such key and controversial issues more deeply, I played the role of disruptor. Yet, at the same time, because not everyone agreed with me, I was also disrupted as the articles attracted quite a few opposing comments. To be sure, it wasn’t easy handling some of these ‘disruptions’. But looking on the bright side, these became good disruptions as it generated more traffic to One Day At A Time! 2016 is the year that we crossed the 300,000 mark, and now closing in to 380,000 hits. May this blog continue to positively disrupt people out of comfort zones to consider and ponder critical issues, causing the Body of Christ to be awakened to their roles and assignments in these challenging times!

Our family experienced a rather major disruption when our daughter’s eczema condition flared up sometime in March. It is not necessary to go into any detail of what she/we went through over the five- to six-month ordeal. We prayed. Sarah prayed. Our church family prayed. It was tough, and very painful. We are thankful that that episode is behind us now. What a disruption it was! And yet, so many lessons learnt, and His grace experienced. Not that anyone would want to go through it again, but in the end, we can look at it and see the ‘good’ in what the Lord had allowed. [Note: This is a testimony to the glory of God. Not a request for health products and recommendations. Thank you.]

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Then came another disruption to our family life – National Service! Enlistment came knocking at the doors of the Lim Tribe and David, our eldest, joined the ranks of Ah Boys to Men in October. Each weekend was spent ferrying him to and fro Pasir Ris Bus Interchange, and acceding to his food requests! Disruptive? Totally! And yet, it was heartwarming seeing him interact with his siblings, as he shared army stories with them. It was a proud moment for Serene and myself when we attended David’s BMTC Graduation Parade at the Marina Bay Floating Platform.

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Another disruption came in the form of an invitation to participate in our home church’s 30th Anniversary Service. Simply, I was asked if I would consider being a part of a song item. Sure, I thought. How difficult could it be, right? Well, this old man forgot how long it has been since he last performed on stage. And it wasn’t just a song item, but a rap! And so, major disruption amidst message preparations and ministry engagements. I couldn’t remember my part and my words. Then came choreography! Help! The last time I did anything like that was Beauty World, 1988. But, all said, it was fun and enjoyable. Yes, a good disruption that allowed me to stretch the vocal cords once more, and loosen some rusty limbs. And more importantly, it helped me ease in a little bit more at FGA, connecting more with the church family. Now, I’m known not only for my preaching, but also my rapping – hahahaha!

A nagging pain in my left shoulder presented the next disruption. After putting up with the discomfort for more than six months, I finally got the frozen shoulder treated. A good disruption? Well, for one, I received an interesting lesson about God’s No Mercy Policy. And, for good measure, I was once again reminded of the ageing process, that time is not on our side, and we must be faithful to do all that has been assigned to us. So, yes, another good disruption.

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On a lighter note, the Lim Tribe experiences a series of disruptions every year, from January to August. I am referring to all our birthdays – haha! Don’t get me wrong: We love birthdays! But when you have nine birthdays in eight months, it can be rather disruptive to keep thinking of what to do, how to schedule, where to go, and how to celebrate birthdays over and over again! Most definitely, these are good disruptions. And 2016 has seen each child grow up even more, ranging from the youngest entering P1 and the oldest enlisting in the army. Standby! The Lim Tribe Birthday Series 2017 starts in a week’s time!

Indeed, 2016 has been a year of ‘good’ disruptions. It hasn’t always been smooth or comfortable (that’s why they are called disruptions). But we can most definitely say that the good Lord never left us alone, no matter how bumpy the ride was. Truly, with God, all disruptions can be ‘good’ disruptions. (Yes, even Brexit. And yes, even Trump.)

Changes, there will always be. And we can expect the world to experience even more disruption and shaking in the days ahead. Whether Christian or otherwise, everyone will experience uncertainty and even confusion. Should we be surprised? Not at all, for the time is short.

Thankfully, for Christians, our hope is not found in the ways or things of the world, for these are all passing away. Most certainly, our hope is rested and founded upon the name, the person, and the completed work of Jesus Christ! The one who truly understands this, whose faith is grounded upon this truth, will also be one who does the will of God. And 1 John 2:17 declares that these are those who will abide forever.

However disruptive life may be, we have a God who promises to see us through all challenges, to walk with us every step of the way. Let’s continue to encourage one another to view disruptions with the right perspective, trusting that if God allowed it, He will most surely see us through it. May we be able to pray as Joab did, “If it’s good for God, it’s good for me.”

Thanks to one and all for journeying through 2016 with me, Serene and our children. Let’s cross into 2017 with even greater resolve to make every moment count, disruptions notwithstanding, for our King and the glory of His Kingdom!