Do You Struggle With Perfectionism?

Hands up, those of you who struggle with perfectionism.

I see your hand…I see your hand…I see your hand. Welcome to the club!

My name is Henson, and I am a perfectionist too. There you go. I’ve confessed. And that is good for the soul, right? Nice. The problem is I still struggle with this dreaded perfectionistic tendency each time I get down to work. I find it hard to settle down until I deliver the ‘perfect’ piece of work.

There’s another word that doesn’t sound so bad – excellence. Yes, I want to be excellent in all I do because I desire to give no less than my best to the Lord. Isn’t that what Colossians 3:17 means when Paul wrote, “And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.”? Amen!

And yet, time and again, I fail to discern between excellence and perfectionism. As a result, I end up striving and stressing, relying on my own expectations of how things should or could be, instead of resting in the Lord and trusting Him for the final outcome.

This morning, I made a conscious effort to cast every care and concern over to Him. (That’s biblical too.) After my long list of petitions and requests, this thought popped into my head:

“God does not require a perfect work to work perfectly.”

Boom! No, there was no thunder or lightning, but BOOM! That silent thought reverberated so loudly that I knew it had to be the still, small voice of the Lord. It was firm, yet gentle. This was not a rebuke, but a reminder.

God is not upset when we strive to give our best to Him. However, it is not His desire that we end up fretting and worrying, taking it out on ourselves and others. In spite of our imperfections, God is still able to bring about His perfect work!

Mind you, this is not permission for us to cut corners or be shoddy in our work. The way we work must still be an extension and expression of our worship of God. That said, no matter how hard we try, or how well we do, it still falls far short of what He truly deserves. Yet, our less-than-perfect sacrifices are accepted because of His grace, because of the perfect work of Jesus Christ.

Without a doubt, I will continue to be excellent for Jesus. Thank God that His perfect work is not dependent on how perfectly I do mine. May I always be reminded to just do my best, and leave God to do the rest.

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TheSugarBook: It’s Time To Say “NO” Again!

In October 2013, Ashley Madison tried to enter the Singapore market. Even when Mr Chan Chun Sing, then Minister for Social and Family Development, spoke against it, the openly adulterous website pressed on with its intended launch. Finally, thankfully, Ashley Madison was blocked. But was that the end of it?

Back then, I wrote in “Ashley Madison in Singapore: When Even Negative Publicity Is Great Publicity“:

I believe we will see more of Ashley Madison, or the likes of it.

Four years later, the likes of Ashley Madison has surfaced … in TheSugarbook.

Screen Shot of TheSugarBook website

Unlike Ashley Madison, TheSugarBook does not openly promote extra-marital affairs, but “a safe and discreet networking environment online”* for rich men seeking young girls, and vice versa. But, like Ashley Madison, it encourages hooking up for all the wrong reasons with absolutely no regard for its consequences.

*Wong Pei Ting: Dodgy messages and brazen requests: My 72 hours on TheSugarBook

One would have expected the government to act as it did in the case of Ashley Madison. However, whilst Minister for Social and Family Development Desmond Lee says that the government “collectively objects” to such sites that “commoditise and devalue” relationships, they are not moving to block it at all. Instead, he says that “[t]he police will ‘keep a close eye’ on money-for-love dating platform The SugarBook as well as the individuals using its services, and will take enforcement action should there be any procurement of sexual services for payment”. Police will keep ‘close eye’ on dating platforms like TheSugarBook: Desmond Lee

It seems that the concern is more about illegal prostitution than it is about fornication, adultery, the demeaning of women, the hurting of young women’s lives, and the destruction of marriages, families and relationships.

My position remains the same as when I commented about the threat of Ashley Madison four years ago:

As Christians, we cannot and must not stay silent for we have been appointed to preserve society as salt and to shine the way of righteousness as light. We must take a stand, and at times, this calls for us to speak up and speak out against such decadent practices. This is not the time for apathy or nonchalance.

At the same time, we must protect our own marriages and families for these are under tremendous attack like never before. We must not presume that things are ok between husband and wife but instead work at strengthening and building the marital relationship. And lest you think children in Christian households are exempted from such negative influences, think again! By the time you realise that theirs is a totally different environment from what we grew up in, it might just be too late. The discipling of our children has taken on a new level of urgency. And as parents, that responsibility is squarely ours (and not the children or youth ministry’s)!

I am thankful and encouraged by those like Darius Lee who engage the public space, speaking up for what is right: Concept of ‘sugar baby’ misogynistic, demeaning towards women

Whilst I understand the reason for not blocking TheSugarDaddy, I cannot say that I agree with it entirely. As far as I am concerned, Ashley Madison and TheSugarDaddy both fall into the same category. Presently, there are more than 20,000 Singapore users (out of 75,000 so far – the target is 200,000 by June 2018). In my opinion, there should not even have been a question at all whether to block it or not.

That said, it is far too easy to expect the government to think and act on our behalf. And should anything go wrong, we just point a finger to blame. To this end, let us must not miss Mr Desmond Lee’s extremely clear signal: “At the end of the day, while we recognise that these websites undermine families and society, our best defence is for society, communities and our families to reinforce values that anchor us so that we do not succumb to such influences.”

In other words, the responsibility is squarely ours. Don’t pass the buck. When all is said and done, we make our own decisions and choices. And we must be prepared to live with the consequences of how and what we have chosen.

Sugar daddies have been around for the longest time. This is not a new thing at all. With or without TheSugarBook, these transactional relationships will continue to exist. Yet, however sweet the deal may appear to be, we must be reminded that, more and more, sugar has been identified as a major cause of ill-health, cancers and death. Yes, sugar kills.

And so …

To the young women of Singapore: You are wonderfully made, precious and loved by God the Father. You never ever need to trade your dignity and bodies for romance, attention, fame or money.

To the rich and wealthy men with lots to spare: If you really want to help younger women with financial needs, there are many other ways to do this without making use of their situation to fulfil your fantasies.

To marriages and families: Remain strong and resilient against the threats of the pressures and challenges of today’s world.

And especially to all hubbies and daddies (and that includes me too): Love your wives and daughters.

Say “NO” to TheSugarBook.

 

 

 

 

Christmas Blessings from the Lim Tribe!

It’s been another eventful year for the Lim Tribe!

Review and rejoice with us as you view the photo update in our November 2017 Newsletter. Give glory to God for how He has led and what He has done through Archippus Awakening in 2017: A Year To Get Ready. And also another year of encouraging Christian mothers through Serene’s website, Building Up Moms – check out the brand new look!

The Lim Tribe wishes one and all a very blessed Christmas and a wonderful year ahead! It is, and will always be, all about Jesus!

Henson & Serene
with David, Sarah, Aaron, Esther, Ruth, Deborah Hope & Anna Joy

400,000 Views but still taking it One Day At A Time

Two years ago, I reported a milestone for this blog, One Day At A Time, when it achieved 200,000 views. Today, I am pleased to report that this humble contribution continues to be a voice in cyberspace, crossing the 400,000 mark.

When I started this website in 2007, it was an attempt for me to get more acquainted with the internet. It was a personal experiment to see if a nobody like me can make an impact in the digital space through the sharing of ministry updates, reflections and opinions. (Sounds noble? Not exactly. My first post “I’m Just A Regular Guy” exposes my original intent – I just wanted a space to be able to speak freely and to gripe if I have to – haha!) Needless to say, hitting the 100,000 marker (after six years!) was quite a thrill.

In an environment where blog stats are reported by the millions, I am well aware that 400,000 is only a tiny blip on the radar of digital content, if it is even registered. Even so, I have been greatly encouraged when what is written is read and shared widely.

Some of the more popular articles are:

Unlike others who seem to be able to write so effortlessly and regularly, I only write when prompted (or irked) and feel that something needs to be said about an issue. With the launch of Archippus Awakening, I now maintain two websites, carefully discerning which site each article should be posted on. Needless to say, this poses another time and resource challenge for me. (One Day At A Time carries more personal and general articles whilst the AA blog focuses primarily on helping saints be awakened, aligned and assigned for Jesus and His kingdom. For mothers, you’ve got to check out my wife’s website Building Up Moms for a treasure trove of practical tips.)

All said, this post is to celebrate yet another ministry milestone. Although I am limited by time and space, I am thankful to be able to reach many more through this digital platform. I don’t know who is reading or how these might be impacted. My part is to declare truth and pray that the Holy Spirit will convict hearts for Jesus.

Thanks to one and all for your support, encouragement and feedback. Keep reading and sharing! Let’s keep reminding one another to take it One Day At A Time, because our Lord’s mercies are new every morning and great is His faithfulness!

Seeing Jesus in Wonder Woman? Just Enjoy the Movie.

After reading quite a few rave reviews, I must admit that my curiosity was piqued, and my interest stirred, to watch the latest DC movie, Wonder Woman.

What’s more, I remember glancing the title of an article, “The New ‘Wonder Woman’ Is Really A Story About Jesus“, that made me want to watch the movie to see if it were really so. I deliberately skipped reading the article so that I would not have any preconceived notions when I went to the cinema.

In between ministering at church camps, and greatly in need of a break, to space out in front of a large screen, I decided it would be a good time for a movie night – yes, Wonder Woman!

As one used to a Lynda Carter Wonder Woman, it took a while to get used to a Gal Gadot one. Of course, everything is much sleeker, and the special effects much more impressive. I waited for the signature WW spin but the director decided to drop that move. And no invisible plane either! All said, the movie was enjoyable but that was about it – ok la.

Did I see Jesus in Woman Woman? Nope.

I suppose if I tried very hard to, I could force fit some theology into the show, and somehow make it look and sound Christian. Sure, I got the part about saving mankind. Yes, I heard the phrase about mankind being undeserving of redemption. And the final punchline: “Only love can save the world.” And yes, I did not miss the way Diana descended in the shape of the cross. But do these necessarily point to Jesus? Not necessarily.

Even so, I couldn’t help but wonder if I had missed the “Whoa Man!” moments of seeing the Jesus story. Back home, I searched for the article to read what it really said. And, oh man, was I even more disappointed. In my opinion, it is really a case of trying way too hard! Did the writer, M. Hudson, really see Jesus in Wonder Woman, or was she trying desperately to make Jesus into a wonder woman?!

On the point of love saving the world, let us be clear that this is no longer the exclusive chant of Christians. Almost everyone, religious or secular, is shouting this tagline of love! We cannot compare Wonder Woman with the love of Jesus just because she uttered this seemingly profound line. It may sound right and noble but let us not forget that the way she discovered and experienced ‘love’ with Captain Trevor was through a one-night stand after routing the Krauts in the village! Trust Hollywood to always associate and confuse love with sex. Perhaps Crosswalk.com missed or chose to ignore this little scene when commenting that Wonder Woman “should serve as an example of the love God has called us to show our neighbor” in their review “Wonder Woman and the Call for Christian Love“.

If you’re going to watch Wonder Woman, go enjoy it for what it is – a typical superhero story where the good guys triumph over the bad guys. Wonder Woman does not represent Jesus, and Jesus is not Wonder Woman. To this end, there is no need to try so hard to see Jesus in this movie, or to force it into a Christian message of love and salvation. Let’s not make it say what it didn’t mean to say. And for proper theology, read the Scriptures. You’ll find the real story of Jesus there too.

Maybe they will feature Wonder Woman in her invisible jet in the sequel, y’think?

January 2017 Newsletter & Receiving Newsletters

This is just to highlight that my January 2017 Newsletter has been written and posted! Its location can be found under the “Newsletters” page, along with past newsletters if you have not had a chance to read these (just hold your mouse over the word “Newsletters” on the menu). Or simply click on the image:

screen-shot-2017-01-10-at-12-34-09-pmOnce every two months, to the best of my ability, I write and send out a newsletter update to all who are subscribed to the list, “Rev Henson Lim Newsletter”. If you have not been receiving these updates, then it is very likely that you are not yet subscribed to this list.

No worries, for that can be easily resolved: SUBSCRIBE to Rev Henson Lim Newsletter now.

In case you are not aware, subscribing to receive newsletters through the “Rev Henson Lim Newsletter” list is different from subscribing to receive posts from One Day At A Time (www.brohenson.org). At some point in time, I do hope to streamline these subscriptions. That would require some technical know-how, and for now, I just do not have the tech-savviness or bandwidth to address this adequately. (And I’m not about to risk messing up and having either list, or both!, disappearing on me!)

Thanks for your understanding and co-operation, and I do apologise for the inconvenience of having to subscribe twice. I am grateful for the opportunity to keep in touch with you, and I hope that the articles/updates you receive will always serve as encouragements to you in your own journey with the Lord.

In the meantime, enjoy the January 2017 Newsletter!

It’s Time to Brave the Cave Once More

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The last time I went into the cave was three years ago. No, not a physical cave, but a figurative one.

In January 2014, I had just relinquished my pastoral position, and Archippus Awakening was to be the next assignment. With no idea of the next steps, I retreated into a period I termed as ‘cave time‘ to rest and reconsolidate, and more importantly, to seek the Lord. It was also a time for me to pen down my thoughts and direction as I studied more about what Archippus Awakening would be.

That was three years ago. And a lot has happened since then. [Read 2014: A Year of Baby Steps2015: A Year of Sowing, and 2016: Entering the 3rd Year with Expectation] Needless to say, it has not been easy. In fact, it has been extremely demanding and tiring! But I must quickly add that it has also been very exciting and fulfilling. The challenge, always, is to discern when I have relied on my own strength, and when I have rested in His. Without doubt, I ran very  hard in 2016. And it seems that the lanes have all been marked out for me in 2017.

But first – cave time.

Yes. For the next three months, I will be taking it a little easier. Apart from weekend ministry engagements that I have accepted (see Ministry Schedule), the weekdays will be spent reading, resting and recuperating. I have already begun doing that and I am enjoying the additional ‘space’, both in my schedule and in my mind.

This does not mean I am not working at all, for the assignment of Archippus Awakening continues (AWE2017 is up next: 17-19 Feb!). I am just taking things at a much slower pace – a slow jog, if you will.

In this mode, I get to draw and drink more deeply from the fountains of living water, reconnect with Serene and the children, enjoy coffee with friends and kingdom connections, and more critically, to be strengthened and directed for the way ahead. With a clearer mind, I also hope to write an accompanying volume to Say To Archippus, so that we can help more know and fulfil their God-given kingdom assignments.

Yes, it is time to brave the cave once more, to be willing to unplug from the buzz and the noise. Not necessarily easy or natural for one as task-oriented as I am. And yet, this is something that must be done. So, cave time, here I come!