A Marriage Seminar on Valentine’s Day

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It was meaningful that a marriage seminar should be held on Valentine’s Day. As such, I was so encouraged by the 66 who chose to spend that special day with us. “Building Marriages on the Rock” started at 9am and promptly ended by 3pm – leaving the couples time to rest and go for their romantic dinners 🙂

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As always, after the teaching sessions, I would lead couples in a time of forgiving one another. Thereafter, they would pray together, seeking the Lord’s enablement to build their marriages on the Rock of Jesus Christ that each would bring Him glory and honour. This, really, is my favourite part. For most of us, we don’t take time to acknowledge our faults and to seek our spouse’s forgiveness. It was such a tender moment, but so beautiful. You can sense the slight discomfort but at the end, tears flow as words are exchanged, followed by hugs.

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Significantly, this year, Serene and I would celebrate our 20th Wedding Anniversary on 11 March. About two years ago, I had written in my journal my intention to offer “Building Marriages on the Rock” as part of our anniversary celebrations. Although I had forgotten that little journal entry, God didn’t. It was only when Roslyn of TPMC invited me to conduct this at her church that I remembered. This is not to say that Serene and I have a perfect marriage. We are just so thankful for the opportunity to share our lives with others that they may be encouraged and to know that we all serve a good and faithful God!

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With Roslyn & Jerome of Toa Payoh Methodist Church

 

Here are some comments from the participants:

“The session was very insightful for us as newly engaged couple. As Christians, we definitely benefited from a Christian authority figure, Henson has both reinforced our Christian beliefs as well as clarified our roles as husband and wife in future. One such example is the role of a wife to be submissive, we always thought it was granted that a wife should be submissive but we learnt that submissive-ness is an attitude, not a role. And we can only achieve this by allowing the Holy Spirit to guide us. We’ve also been further strengthened in our conviction by Henson’s passion for Christ. We cannot be worldly and Christ-like at the same time. Christ must be the only one we looked to in our marriage and our lives!” Nick & Michelle

“Thank you for the wonderful seminar! Indeed there are several things I am reminded of and several I have neglected. Yet there are several which I have deliberately ignored :/ I especially like the way you talk about God’s purpose in marriage. The marriage is not just between my husband and I but it is with God! And to glorify Him in our union!” Jaime Hang

“Desmond and I have been married for 10 years. Sometimes, when we attend such courses, people think we are facing problems that’s why we are going for courses to get help. :-I I think this workshop is for all married couples, especially those who are having it good and want to make it better. Many times, I realise those really having problems will not want to get help, and those who have been married for a number of years think they know it all, know what makes things tick and there is nothing with their marriage they need to fix. But more often than not, their relationship have stagnated and become functional and they are actually too shy to attend workshop on marriage with their spouse. They are ok with parenting workshops though 🙂 One important takeaway is that the husband is the leader and the wife is the helper. Actually, we know that already. Its the putting it to practice! I think most chinese couples have the tiger mum and the tiger wife syndrome, (I am not so bad really 🙂 🙂 ) so the wife ends up leading and the husband just lets the wife be, to avoid a bigger mess. We promise to remember and apply this and also to walk together in our christian walk, and also lead our children. What we have been doing is that I have my own relationship with God and Desmond has his own relationship with God. I am so glad that this workshop has helped us realise that we, as a couple, must have a relationship together with God too.” Desmond & Teresa

“I like the bible verses which support every point discussed. They are appropriate and have weightage. Afterall they are God’s word. It is not that we don’t know them. It is just that I didn’t measure up to it. I do see my ‘fault lines’ which were glaring to myself. So yes I see the plank in my own eyes. It is a timely reminder for me to learn to be submissive and to recognise my role as a wife. There are many times I fall short of the marriage covenant. Today’s session is very relevant in many aspect of my marriage journey. When Henson recited the marriage vows, it brought me back in time – 15 yrs ago. ‘Ya Hor’ I did say those words in my ‘glorious wedding’ in front of God, my family and friends. Then I realized that “hey, how come I didn’t ‘tahan’ when put to the test? The course set me thinking, align my thoughts back to God’s – lest I forget what I declared before … my solemn vows. The last part of the session touches my emotion and being. To hear my husband and myself seeking forgiveness for our shortcomings is good for our souls. Immediately we forgave one another on the spot.” Li Hwa

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